hmmm- judging look after 40

Gentlemen, you can respond for free here and there is a tad of a conundrum.......
One that many of you have faced before- me never really faced it as due to my shallow nature if a man was not appealing to me in a physical way- I just simply and swiftly passed him over.
That has left me single- however do not assume that makes me lonely or desperate- actually I enjoy my singledom as I detest having any man tell me what to do, when, how or why.....
Hence good thing I am single- in my own defense though I have had the 'husband' from hell- raised the child from downunder- and now I simply enjoy some peace from the onslaught of men controlling behaviour.
Yes, I know there are some fabulous men out there- and to my saving grace some of them are my friends- so thank you......
BUT-- what does one do when they meet a person of the opposite gender that appreciates and enjoys the same activities, they make you laugh, they...
are smart, funny, in control, confident- have their 'shit' together--- and yes even are financially stable- even in this economy........
but what do you do if they are in shape--- fit....... and honestly ...... just not attractive?
I know this is a common problem but truly how shallow are we?
If we had all taken the one -or two people we have met in our lives that actually compliment us =aside from their genetic blessed exteriors (to which they simply inherited and in no way 'earned' the way they look)if we simply took up with the people we actually like- would this world not be a better place and with far less single folks (again, not that being single is bad)
Any advice-- and have any of you 'settled' with not as a stellar looking partner-- but would not change them for anything- and finally are happy?